Pickles and Prose

Dear Reader,

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a mother in possession of three children, must be in want of a nap.

I must confess to be reading my favorite book for the umpteenth time. Can you, by chance, guess what it might be?

Every time I do this, two things happen. 1.) I do a lot of thinking. 2.) I start dropping terms like, "I'm in no humor at present to give consequence to young ladies who are slighted by other men!" into normal conversation. Which, let me tell you, is rather difficult. I connect with this book. It is a book about people. I am a people-watcher. It is a book about family. My family is my life. It is a book about houses. I have to clean one of those. OK, the last one wasn't a great connection, but still. I love this book. It is a book about life lessons and settling scores.

Here are the life lessons my children learned this week. Sanity and Insanity are constantly in the throes of battle around here due to these learning experiences.

1.) Pip learned to roll over. Saying goodbye to the days of an immobile baby = Insanity -1

2.) Pip learned to drop toys on the floor and expect someone to pick them up again. More messes to clean up and more distractions from normal household tasks/activities = Insanity - 2

3.) Pip learned teething is a good reason for refusing to sleep or be content. Dealing with a crabby baby = Insanity - 1

4.) Pip learned to love blowing spit bubbles. Laughing at cute baby antics = Sanity - 1

5.) T-boy learned to adore my scrap-booking tool kit. Fruitlessly searching for a mini hammer for an hour, giving up in favor for a full-size one, whacking thumb = Insanity - 3

6.) T-boy learned to use the phrase, "Why is it always ME?" when he's told to do something. Getting mad and saying son may NEVER spend time with the uncle who taught him that sentence, knowing this is an idle threat - Insanity - 2

7.) T-boy learned to refuse to play with his sister. He is in no humor at present to give consequence to young ladies who are slighted by other men. Ha! [insert satisfied smirk] Not perfect, but acceptable. Settling constant fights involving a screeching five-year-old and an indignant three-year-old = Insanity - 1

8.) T-boy learned a tiny warhorse and knight is a very interesting toy. Preschooler being occupied for at least an hour every day = Sanity - 1

  9.) Bee learned that her favorite game is 'The Princess and the pea'. Having to trip over piles of bedding, remaking all the beds every five minutes = Insanity - 2

10.) Bee learned how to scrub a toilet. Having someone else do this chore, not feeling one bit guilty (because she thinks it's fun) = Sanity - 2

The Score, as it stands today: Insanity - 12 Sanity - 4

I'm thinking Sanity better beef it up a little this week, [Crazy laughter] make that, a lot. See, all that excess thinking gets me two things, a headache and an all-too-sobering perspective of my life. And what does using antiquated terminology get me? A lot of strange looks and odd knowing smiles, a husband who wishes he had somewhere else to be and a quickly decreasing blog audience. Why do I do this to myself? Like I said, I love this book.

And truly my life is pretty good too. Insanity isn't so bad.

Love,

Proudly Pickled in NE