Less Than Spook-tacular!

Dear Friends,

I wish to tell you some things about our Halloween....

• I worked on our costumes for months. They took much work, concentration and time. They were completely original and handmade.

We chose them for the following very well thought out reasons:

{Bee} - A Bee - We did an intense four month study of bees and the decrease of honey production over the last three years. Our hypothesis is currently being reviewed by scientists at Harvard before being distributed to Bee keepers nationwide.

{T-boy} - A construction worker - He has become increasingly aware of the stigma that such workers face. They are constantly depicted as big, hairy men who eat sandwiches from large plastic lunchboxes. My son has every intention of entering this line of work but he must break down the stereotype. His is neither big or hairy. He likes Chicken nuggets from a basket for lunch.

{Pip} - A pig - We must raise the public awareness that pigs are getting a bad rap because of the poorly-named "Swine Flu". Have you read Charlotte's Web? Pigs are smart.

{Loggerhead} - A monkey with a human head - All hail the missing link!

{Myself} - An Asian Princess - We are planning our next mission trip to a small Asian country that suffers from a high level of childhood hunger. The traditional Kimono is a religious and cultural symbol. The Kimono can send a lot of messages. Mine said, "Feed the children."

We attended a deeply cultured event in our city where our well behaved children were prime examples to everyone around them by donating their candy to the less fortunate.

[Loud outburst of raucous laughter]

Not!!!

While I might like to be able to say those things... That is NOTHING like our Halloween this year. Or any other year, for that matter.

This is the real story...

We planned to go to Boo at the Zoo. It is a community trick-or-treating event at our local children's zoo.

Bee wanted to go as a 'bee' since that is her nickname. For her costume, I slapped together a few articles of clothing from her closet. We topped it off with a little costume kit I found at Claire's for $15. It was so cheaply made it was falling apart before she ever got it on.

T-boy freezes up at large public events - logger genetics - and I knew he would be more comfortable if he was in things he wears all the time. So I told him he could be a cowboy, Indiana Jones or Bob the Builder. He had all those costumes already. He chose Cowboy. At the last minute (ten minutes before we had to leave) I discovered he had left both his Cowboy hat and his Indiana Jones fedora at a friend's house. Plan C - He was Bob the builder.

Pip was a pig because he couldn't voice an opinion otherwise and that is the infant costume Bee and T-boy both wore.

Mr. Loggerhead pulled out his gorilla costume (he bought it for a costume party when he was in college) at the last minute. He was roasting hot in it and couldn't stand to leave the mask on due to the heat and lack of visibility. So he looked like a man who took a bath in Rogaine.

I was 'Mulan' because when I went down to the dress-up box (an hour before launch time) Bee saw some of the things and said,

"You should be Mulan, a China-girl!"

Thank you, Disney!

It was raining and I figured this was the only costume in my box that included a parasol and the white paint covered the massive zit I had developed that morning. The stress of these holidays, I tell ya!

The only message my kimono sent was,
"Kimonos just make her look fat. She's had three children, give her some slack."

Off we went. We were late. We forgot the stroller and the sling.

The place was a zoo - literally and figuratively!

It is impossible to take pictures while carrying a fan, a parasol, a diaper bag, a plastic hardhat, a pig hat, a candy sack and a baby in a slippery pig costume.

It is almost impossible to take pictures while wearing a gorilla mask and gloves.

They shoved us along with assembly-line like efficiency. My poor pokey little munchkins were so awestruck they kept forgetting to even get the candy along the way. Mr. Loggerhead and I didn't feel the need to remind them. All they wanted to do was stop and stare at all the decorations and costumes. But the candy-starved masses bustled them along at a breakneck pace. You would have thought my children were country-bumpkins just arrived in the big city for the first time. I hope they always keep that sense of wonder.

We met witches,

And Angels (they were in disguise but we saw their light shining through).

The baby slept through it all.

T-boy pronounced when we left that he didn't have fun.

"Why not? Didn't you like getting candy?" We asked.

"No, I lite da zoo bedder when deres no tandy, on'y a'mals!"

I guess we can't win for losing.

The best part of our adventure?

Mr. Loggerhead took us here for supper that night. T-boy forgave us for his ordeal when we ordered him shrimp. It was two days before Halloween so everyone thought we were crazy to be out in costume. I love it when I'm mistaken for a nut-case. It is so liberating.

For the record, Mr. Loggerhead changed out of his costume before we went to the restaurant. I'm sure he got enough looks without an extra three inch layer of fur. His winter beard is well on it's way. Everyone probably thought he was a 'logger' for Halloween. I wanted to say,

"Nope, people, not for Halloween - for LIFE!"

The next day, T-boy decided candy wasn't so bad. That was after I sorted it for them... Okay, okay, AND removed MY favorites! Motherhood comes with a few perks. Stealing- I mean - Snitching from your children's Halloween candy is one of them.

You know, when I think about it, I actually wouldn't want to be able to say those things about us. I like the way we do Halloween just fine. A little hap-hazard and less than perfect... that's us.

Love,
Raimie

P.S. Please don't take offense if I described your Halloween in the first part of my post. Some people can't help being goody-two-shoes. We all have our problems. [wink, giggle]