Book: Twilight of the Iguana

Dear Readers,

This is Egward.

Egward is an iguana.

Nobody likes iguanas much.

They are vegetarians.

And who likes vegetables?


Not Egward.

Egward eats meat. Flies, mostly.

One day, Egward saw Guella.

He wasn’t sure what she thought about carnivorous iguanas. He thought he would like to find out. But he was afraid so he hid his secret.

At sunset he approached her. Her scaly skin was a luminescent green and caught the last rays of sun. Egward munched on collard greens in the half-light. He swallowed.

He choked. The leafy greens had blocked his airway. He spat them out with frightful finality.

“That’s it, I need meat!”

Guella gasped.
“Please don’t eat me!”
“I would never! You are my sun in the day, you are my moon at night,”
Egward proclaimed.

“But what am I in the twilight?”
“Ummmmm… never mind. Slither away with me. Today!
“The day is passed.”

“Okay, Tonight!”

“It is not yet night.”


“Don’t you take that tone with me!”
“Let us go now, my darling!”

“Are you listening to me?”
“Your words are music to my ears.”

“We don’t really have ears. They are called tympanums.”
“You are the brains, I am the dewlap.”
“Well when you put it that way…”

“Your scent is intoxicatingly sweet.”

You smell like dead flies.”

“Let me hold you in my claws.”

“Okay, you twisted my arm. Let’s just go.”

The two iguanas moved off into the brush.

I never saw them again but I hear that Guella decided she likes flies too. Egward has reconciled himself to being an oddity in the Iguana world. They recently had a baby who occasionally dresses up as a salamander superhero.

Trade one set of problems for another, I always say.

Egward’s mother-in-law won’t speak to him, but strangely, he doesn‘t mind.

They all lived happily ever after.

Except the flies.

The end.


Saw-a Iguana
in NE

P.S. Visit HERE is you want to see the roots of this insanity.


  1. dear Different daughter that doodles (oodles and oodles of doodles)

    I am wondering (again) how you came to be so brilliantly creative and imaginative....maybe they mixed you up in the HumanaHospitalAnchorageAlaska Nursery....No, that can not be, for you never left our sight for a minute.

    It is a good thing your blog is copyrighted, i foresee many published books in your future.(wasn't that the way the fortune cookie read?)

    TheMamaOne(yes I am sure)

  2. Raimie - you never cease to amaze me! Your imagination blows me away! I wanna be more like you!! Something tells me you either have "it" or you don't - apparently, I don't. None the less, you always leave me with a smile - and for that, I thank you! Now...go get creative some more!! ;) Sending you LOTS 'O LOVE!

  3. And, yeah, I am a fan of the Twilight series. It took me forever to start the first book - I only did it beacuse a friend of my gave me her book to borrow and I felt bad about giving it back to her un-read. Weeeell - after the fist chapter I was hooked! So, yep, I read the other books immediately. And was sad when the series ended. And am mad??? at the person who ruined it for the rest of us - Stephanie was going to write the series from Edwards perspective but someone leaked part of the manuscript. I feel like such a teeny-bopper for admitting to liking the series so much (vampires/strange stuff is NOT my style) but what's a girl to do! It's such a well written story. (Are you even still reading my response??) ;)

  4. I too am a fan of any Twilight Saga

  5. LOL! I've never read them...but I may have to now!
    and ditto on Kristen's first comment...I can only live vivaciously thru you, because I just don't have it either, but wow, I can claim close relation!! :D


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