After dining on some delicious onion soup,
There was nothing else for it, the cabin fever was too much,
the time had come,
We packed up our ever-handy teenage attitudes.
And our faithful companion, Preschool Attitude. They are very similar, I might note.
And we went SHOPPING.
I mean, even the deer were out doing their Christmas shopping. What were we supposed to do?
Let's kick it!
Ice ice baby,
Ice ice baby!
This is insanity at it's best. Five adults and seven children, in bulky coats with multiple bags, bundles and purses, walking through tiny, close quartered shops.
Oh-ho, it gets better. Just wait...
Shops full of hundreds of over-priced breakable objects.
If that doesn't just about make you break out in hives,
Then you are not him. It just about drove him right over the edge.
Some of the shops heard we were coming and closed up early.
Others weren't so lucky. They had to put up with our singing and our weirdness and our unbalanced adult vs. children ratio. Poor dears. They never knew what hit 'em.
[Music begins] Someday my prince will come...
[Long musical overture] What? You don't break out into song and choreographed dance mid-shopping trip? That is strange. We can't be the only ones. Give a shout out if you do this.
Anybody out there?
Someone? Anyone? I feel so alone.
It was too much. I couldn't hardly take it.
A whole shop of Christmas tinsel-y, evergreen bough-ed, candy-cane bearing, snowflake-y, Santa cloaked sweetness,
Complete with chubby, be-sparkled, martini-drinking, mermaids in sunglasses.
Someone catch me, I'm going to faint.
Purses! What? Where? I think I've recovered. Whew! That was a close one.
I think the girls had slightly more fun than the guys.
I don't know why.
It was just a feeling I got.
Something in the tired, less-than-ecstatic, rather-be-put-through-a-meat-grinder-than-do-this-again looks on their faces.
Quick, pull them back from the edge! We're done.
I wanted them to live to be cute another day. I really couldn't ask for better escorts, after all.
P.S. A couple new rules to live by:
1. Friends don't let friends wear more than 25% leopard print.