Swingin' Through

Dear Friends,

I have to tell you that I’m a little teary as I’m writing this so this may not be the most coherent post I’ve ever written. I’m not sad. I’m not sick. My life is just a little crazy at the moment.

I’ve said it before and I’ll probably say it again.

Men should not get sick.

We are on day two of Mr. Loggerhead’s hospital stay and they have warned us that he will be here through tonight and maybe longer if they don’t see enough improvement by tomorrow. He is fairly cheerful and relaxed, considering. The nurses put up with his teasing and since we are in the orthopedic ward I keep reminding my husband that they are used to senile old people so he’s nothing new. The pain medicine helps too. They are bringing him Philly cheese-steak for supper so it’s all good for the moment. Plus, if you push this little red call button they come running to fix whatever’s the matter. I may never get him home… service isn’t quite so good around there. Ha! Yeah, right… he keeps mentioning the intense desire to check himself out.

But that’s not why I’m emotional. I’m missing my turkeys.

I’m a normal mom… I want my privacy now and then. The bathroom to myself on occasion would be nice. A quiet minute to read a good book would put me over the moon on any given day. Sometimes I just wanna scream, "Someone just take them away for two seconds!"

Sometimes I even get that someone and they go away. And I enjoy the time alone; the time to be more productive and organized in mind, body and activity.

But then I’m a normal mom… I really, really, want them back again.

I’m not worried about where they are (MIL). I know they are fine. But I really, really, miss them. We opted not to have them come up here to the hospital because of the inevitable drama over going back home with grandma instead of staying with us here. We’ll invite them up to see daddy once we are a little closer to going home. That way they can just stay with us and skip the separation anxiety -mine, and theirs. Mostly mine.

I really, really, miss my baby.

I’ve never been away from him overnight. Ever. And he’s been away from me two nights this week. And another one is approaching.

So I’m swinging between anxiety for my husband and missing my children.

I guess life is sorta like a swing ride.

There's the up.

And the down.

And you know, when you are looking at the lows – focusing on the fast approach of the hard ground - it’s hard not to get dizzy and scared of that possible hit. There's the feeling of losing all sense of balance. The lurch in your stomach of impending doom. 

But if you look up…

You see the great blue-ness, the beauty of the clouds. You even get to see that one exact, essential moment where, if you reached up, you could almost, almost, touch the sky.

And when you are swingin’ through life– it’s important to hang on.

Hang on when you are up. Hang on when you are down.

But more importantly?

Who’s on that swing with you?

Hold them tight. Share their laughter. Feel the euphoria of love. Enjoy the ride.

Love,

The Prairie Hen