Red, White and Spoon

Dear Friends,
Election Day is coming, folks. The signs are everywhere. Literally, everywhere. Awareness of the campaign forerunners and their political standing is poked haphazardly into my over-full brain like the lopsided, hand-painted signs that are gouged into the turf of countless American yards this October. Be informed, they all seem to shout. Pick me, Pick me! 

That's what it's all about, isn't it? The freedom to make choices. Being informed. So let me inform you of a little something. I am as patriotic as the next guy. Maybe more so. My dad taught me the importance of voting and my Father taught me the importance of praying about the elections. I take the whole thing very seriously. I don't mean to make light of this time-honored system of letting our voices be heard.

But seriously, people! All this ringing the doorbell during the day business has gotta stop. I know you want to get the word out about your candidate but this is really starting to get me riled up. You are confused. Why all the drama? Let me explain, every time that doorbell chimes my heart jumps and I think it is the Schwans man, here to bring me my bi-weekly supply of frozen goodness. I don't know how much more of these false alarms and constant disappointments I can take.  I'm not going to make it to the second of November at this rate. And I know how much you want my vote.

There you are, on my doorstep. Your crisp, matching shirts, screen-printed with the name of the person you are supporting. You shake my hand heartily. You launch into a speech about ideals and expectations. My eyes glaze over and un-related thoughts start sliding over the top of my attentiveness like caramel syrup. Slow, sweet and golden. Far, far away from talk of tax levies and school funding.

More fulfilled? Government?
Give me Cream-filled. Java-mint.

Health-care and smarter voting?
I'll take Heath-bars and Sugar Coating.

And when you ask me if I would fill-out this card if I would like more information and I respond stupidly, "What? Where's the spoon-- I mean, pen?"  I'm not trying to be rude or funny. I'm not blowing you off and I'm [pretty much] not a crazy person. I'm just a desperate American mother of two small children and a nursing baby, who is hard-up for calories, the solitude of my own bowl, a clean spoon and a blessed sleepy-chasing sugar rush. And if I were to be honest with you, there's a few things I take more seriously than my political views. One of them is ice cream.


  1. Good stuff. So you have ice cream delivered to your door? Wow. Now that I could get interested in.

  2. ah! The Schwans man...I had a good relationship with him for quite a few years too. Must be that house full of kids thing--mom's need their ice cream fix!

  3. Oh girl, you've just cracked this old Ozark farm chick up. 'Not a pretty sight...got some Spackle on ya??? Heeehehehe!

    This is great girl and I'm right there with ya. Shoot, it's sure wouldn't take more than an ice-cream sandwich to get this chick to vote the dang Schwans Man into office! I can see it now...ice cream for everyone. That would sure blow the chicken in every pot campaign!!!!

    Ya'll have a wonderfully blessed day straight from the hills and hollers of the Missouri Pondeorsa!!!

  4. Mmmmm... Ice Cream! Better yet, SCHWANS Ice Cream! It really doesn't get better than that - when you're talking ice cream.
    I, on the other hand, hide when the Schwans man comes to our neighborhood - no one gets hurt that way - such as, my grocery budget!

    And lobbyist / politicians don't knock on doors around here - although I'd be hiding from them too if they did!

  5. Love it! hahahaha!

    I don't have that problem at all. Candidates don't come to my door and neither does the Schwans man. I see him drive by once a week though and am tempted...

    I do have some ice cream in the freezer though... and a spoon in the drawer... see ya later....

  6. I'll remember that if I should ever ring your doorbell! I'll have the ice cream in hand...just as long as you got the bowls and spoons.

  7. this post has brought me out of my lurking. i hate politics. i love ice cream. i love your writing...awesome, awesome. at least you answer the door. i've been known to divebomb to the floor when i see someone walk up the front steps.


Thank you for stopping by. Your comments make me smile.